Letters from Heather

Went to Old Orchard last night to purchase a hoodie I'd tried on last weekend, but wasn't sure I liked. As luck would have it, the store decided to send back all their unsold "clearance" hoodies (including the one I went to buy) to headquarters. I tried to look for other clothing at Macy's, but I just wasn't as inspired anymore. As I was leaving near the food entrance, I noticed Barnes and Noble and remembered that I still have a fifteen-dollar gift card to use there. Most of this time I was on the phone complaining about my own bad luck, other people in the mall who were close to running into me, and other junk, and it continued as I couldn't find anything to buy or read at Barnes and Noble. I bought a pumpkin spice latte, something I wish I'd ordered this morning instead of the regular coffee latte from Corner Bakery, and stopped at Corner Bakery to eat a chicken panini sandwich.

I've been so good for the last two months about splurge spending, especially on food, but at this point (as in, right now), I'm afraid I've been a little reckless. I'm trying to save up my money carefully so that I can pay off the car after the three-year lease ends in one lump sum. I'm also trying to save for anything else I might want to do in the future. It's too bad this isn't some incredibly deep discussion of strange childhood family dynamics (saw a trio of sisters babysitting their youngest member eating all by themselves at Corner Bakery, they were all under thirteen). Or sharing a moment of loneliness with an oblivious stranger (saw a girl waiting for a ride outside Barnes and Noble while I ate my dinner all alone at Corner Bakery). Even though those are the things I wanted to expand upon, I'm not sure they can be examined beyond face value. I went to DSW and lost myself looking at boots for over an hour. I couldn't find any that fit my feet without piercing the soles with pain and heels that put me off balance. I'd like to buy some fancy, feminine shoes, but I'm afraid they're never the right style to fit my personality or my body.

I ended up buying a pair of socks that don't fit, that I've already opened, and I'll probably waste more time trying to return them to the store tomorrow night. After that, Saturday, is a going-away party for my cousin in Schaumburg. It's also a costume party, but my family is being rather anti-Halloween this year, so I haven't bought even a prop to improvise with. Hopefully my godmother isn't too put off by my family's stubbornness to remain ordinary and boring, and un-festive. As much as we care about seeing Michael go, I'm afraid we're going to hurt her/their family's feelings.

Also, just read about Jordyn's mishap in her blog. I can't believe that actually happened to her. The whole thing, no matter how rational it's written, seems like it's out of a book and completely unreal...but it is. How can people be so cruel?

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